Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The title of my blog, "Fighting For Obedience," is the status of my heart and mind right now. What is obedience anyway? Does it always have to be doing something? Does it always involve making a decision? In my life, the hardest area to be obedient to Father in is my character and my words. Sometimes I get so frustrated with God because of the way he created me. I don't want to be myself anymore. I feel as though I will never be good enough. For what? I'm not sure. I've been working on memorizing Psalm 139, but you know, the hardest part isn't remembering what it says. The hardest part is believing what it says. And believing that God sees me as good. I am His daughter and He loves who I am. The best thing is that, even though God made me exactly how he wanted to, he still wants to look into my heart, show me what is there, and get rid of what is bad. I remember an illustration that I heard my freshman year about how God takes an ice cream scoop to our hearts, takes out the bad stuff, shows it to us, and then throws it away. If we are willing. That's the hard part, fighting for that obedience.